Okay, sounds ridiculous - that disability is an opportunity; that it
provides opportunity to discover new and exciting things about
life… yea, right. Just how does that happen when yesterday I
could, today I can’t…
Opportunity. What does that really
mean? To help define it I gathered
definitions about opportunity from the now online Merriam-Webster’s dictionary. Here’s how opportunity is defined: “a favorable combination of
circumstances, time, and place”. Well, what happened wasn't so favorable but through opportunity I found "my situation
is an opportunity for me to write a blog and
share optimism through what I’ve learned since my introduction to
disability”. Yep, an opportunity.
Other definitions of
opportunity:
1. "A halt that provides an opportunity for rest and reflection”
2. A good chance for advancement or
progress – my definition: “I may not be able to do that now but I can see some progress and have the opportunity make it happen”
Definitions, how can Webster possibly define any semblance of opportunity
when it disappeared from me? Here’s how
I re-wrote my opportunity definition:
So, there I was, surrounded by a whole lot of noisy nothing… all I identified with as normal took a hike and with it my ability to connect any kind of opportunity to move ahead. With the hike went my ability to not have to pay attention to what my body did. Now I had to think about my every move and what once was simple became the hardest thing I've ever had to do. So, how in the world does one find opportunity in all that?
At first I found it was ridiculously elusive. I had to first recognize that opportunity
existed at all. I searched for an
opportunity to find opportunity. It took
a while but I discovered it was up to me to rewrite an opportunity that I
defined as an opportunity
This process was difficult because it involved thinking about the way my
body changed and how much it changed my life. I had to return to the moment
when disability introduced itself to me.
I did not like it and certainly did not want to be friends with it.
As I wandered through what I had gone
through I allowed myself to wonder “what if”.
What could I do differently to compensate around what was getting in my
way. For example, I had great difficulty
reading, lines blurred together and I couldn’t move my eyes from a line to another
without losing my place on the page. This
frustrated me to no end and I gave up reading at all. Sitting there ruminating on how I’d never
read a novel again I looked around me and discovered an opportunity to change
the way I read. I folded a piece of
paper in half and covered the text under the line I was trying to read. I was able to read the lines I had read left my attention so only the line connecting the text to
the fold was visible and when sliding the paper down I was able to move on to the next line and read! What an
opportunity that was! A simple thing
like this strengthened my confidence and with one down my search for another grew
stronger. I felt empowered understanding
how I was proudly incorporating skills and abilities I had acquired throughout my
life.
I also understood how I
had allowed the emotions of disability to use their opportunities to own me, to let
it define me. I had given it permission
to micromanage and block my healing, compensation, my direction and, my opportunity
to manage myself.
Understanding that I was the catalyst to my empowerment - all I had learned over my lifetime continued to embrace me with my ever lasting strength,
skills, assets and talents. I
shared that embrace with a creative eye as I looked for other opportunities to find my way around difficulties. Keep in mind opportunities need not be huge undertakings;
they can be as simple as smiling through a day.
Before my introduction I had a close relationship with art and music. I liked lots of color around me and writing, making
and singing music about anything made me happy.
At first introduction I was devastated that happiness disappeared from my life.
What did I have left that was colorful or filled with sounds of hope? But like the folded paper my search for opportunity led me to another idea. What if I drew a
customized map connecting my joys and skills to what I needed to move on?
I started my map in “I ain’t in Kansas anymore”. Then little by little my map led myself along my own yellow brick road and on the way opportunities showed up. Yes, I had to walk past angry apple throwing
trees and through sleepy poppy fields, but still my yellow brick road pointed me along a journey to a brand new state called Me.
I was the woman behind the
curtain and I found by clicking my opportunities I could pave a journey that to
this day is surrounded by vibrant color and full of music.
What would your map look like? How would
you color it? What would it sound like?
Whatever way, I look
forward to seeing you in the state of You and Me.
